The Day of Wreckoning

Since I started Weight Watchers, several of my friends have decided to join as well. I am really proud of all of them, as it is a huge thing to take on. You have to have found it in yourself to admit that you need to change, and that you believe you have the power to do it. Before they join, the always ask me if it's worth it. I won't lie, it's not cheap. But I easily spent more in a week at Drive - Thru windows than I spend on a month of Weight Watchers. I always tell them, without a doubt, it's totally, totally worth it.

In addition to doing Weight Watchers, I keep close to my heart the nutrition philosophies of Tosca Reno. If you haven't ever heard of her, now is the best time to open a new window and Google her. She inspires me, every day. She has an amazing story, an amazing body, and more importantly an amazing way of getting me excited about healthy foods and healthy choices. Before I joined WW, I followed what she said, and ate clean. I followed what she said, but for some reason, I never made progress.

I would wake up every morning, hurry to the bathroom, take care of business and weigh myself. Don't get me wrong, the numbers on the scale moved. They went in the right direction, and I was thrilled. Then I would text my beautiful cousin Sara who keeps me accountable and we would discuss. But then the number didn't move one day. It was the same as the day before. And I was devastated.

What happened next was a bag of Nacho flavoured Doritos, with ground beef, lettuce, tomato, salsa, cheese and sour cream in the bag with it. It was the Rundle Park baseball tournament and this was a delicacy I could only have at this annual tournament. It was delicious and it was not Tosca approved. Besides, what did she know anyway. This damn diet didn't work. I wasn't losing weight so I ate another bag.

On that sunny Saturday morning, as I coached my son's baseball team, I lost sight of my own game. I had lost 17lbs in a few weeks. I felt better, you could see a difference in my face, and I was making good choices. My victory was overlooked and I convinced myself in a matter of 30 seconds that this wasn't going to work. I was doomed to be fat with a pretty face forever. It didn't take me long to gain back that 17lbs and then a good few more when I realized my fate and accepted it. It was 30 seconds that shaped the next few years, back in to the same shape that I had been my whole life.

What makes it easier this time?

I don't own a scale. That Saturday morning I could have been bloated, I might have been PMSing, I might have had to spend a few more minutes taking care of business. Who knows. It could have been anything. All my good work was thrown out the window because I couldn't will myself to stay off the scale. I knew it was foolish to hop out of bed every day of my life and stand on the scale. It was even more foolish to weigh in the afternoon just to see if things had changed. All it did was make me obsessed with the number on the scale, and not the way I felt.

With Weight Watchers, someone who I see once a week, weighs me once a week. Then she writes the number down and I move on. So far the progress has been good, and I have only twice had a moment of  'what's the point?'

What I had to realize and I came to it on my own was the fact that all of this is math. If I do what I am supposed to, and expend more calories than I consume, eventually, the big number in the equation will go in the direction I want it to go. If things don't go well on a Thursday morning, there are a million things it could be. And I have a full week to work that out.

Do I falter and stress about it? You bet I do. I refuse to eat anything salty from Sunday onward, in case I am retaining extra fluid on Thursday. Am I sitting here on Wednesday night looking over my food journal for the week? Yup, I just did that. Am I sitting here regretting that for the first week since January I can honestly say that I let life get in the way and due to sick kids and family and other commitments I didn't walk through the door of the gym? Sort of. Did I drink enough water? Nope. Will I be disappointed tomorrow if I weigh and have a bad number show up - you bethca. But it's not the end of the world and I won't fall off the wagon. I have had too much success and made too many good choices to have a week where things didn't go according to plan derail me. My food journal is in perfect order, I ate great, all week. I got good sleep and I took care of my family when they weren't up to snuff. As I close in on 50lbs lost, I can hope for a good loss tomorrow. But when I wake up in the morning and put on those faded old 'weigh in' capri's, I can go into my meeting knowing I did my best.

And whatever way it works out, the girls who sit around me, who I met through doing this will be there and understand. I will move on and downward next week. I might have a great week and it will be the same. I have met amazing people through doing this. The plan works for me, it's easy to follow and it makes sense. And it is totally worth every penny.